Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Inappropriate Past, Pt. II - Valentines

Ah...St. Valentine's Day.  Let's all run off to Target and hunt for that perfect cheeseball greeting card that tries to express what we can't seem to say.  Back in Victorian times, these mementos were ornate and gorgeous, with lace overlays, landscapes, flowers, and cupids.  At the turn of the century and through the 1940's or so, the idea of humor was injected into the novelty, and the result was often...strange.  Strange, confusing, and downright inappropriate.  See for yourself...

The Bizarre

Dental humor...this guy must get all the chicks.

What?!?  Oh...it's a beet.  Lame.  NEXT!

I'd like to think it's a dairy cow, but apparently not.  Excuse me while I take a break to cry in the corner for a spell.  Thanks, Honey.

The (Highly) Suggestive

Well, it is Valentine's Day...

No caption necessary.  But I will just point out that this is jointed with a brad, so the monkey, um...eats...the banana.  It's a very bad monkey.

Aww...so sweet.  Um, does the canon HAVE to be flesh-colored?  No.  No, it doesn't.  But it is.

The Threatening

This card is preferred by 3 out of 4 serial killers.

Uh, does that kid have a black eye?  Yikes.

It's the steroids.  He used to be such a nice boy.

The Offensive

Racist AND chauvinist??  What a gem.  Ugh...

And on that note, let's be done with it.

Have you come across some interesting vintage valentines?  Let's share!!


  1. OMG!!!! Where did you FIND all of those? Disturbingly hilarious!