The Inappropriate Past

Let's admit it - one of the funniest things about the distant past was how un-PC it was. 

Without further ado, I bring you inappropriate advertisements:

Instantaneous cure indeed.  Thank God we now know what cocaine does to the teeth, let alone the rest of the body...

If the cocaine works for toothache, beer for babies is another natural choice...

Golly, a Colt handgun for Christmas!!  What could be better??

A vacuum cleaner!  YES!!!  I know what I'll be doing when everyone's gone sledding...

Always thinking of the little lady, weren't they??  So sweet...

See?  Because they LOVED cooking and cleaning so much it even made them "cute" (but not beautiful).  And that was good enough, somehow.  Hmm, where did this blatant lack of self-worth come from??

 
















Ah, yes...it was ingrained from an early age.  Get these little "chubbies" on diet pills, STAT!  Maybe the problem with this rampant childhood obesity comes from watching too much TV...

Wrong again.  Geesh...

Lastly, it's late.  The kids are in bed, I feel like curling up in bed with my loving husband, and...

Um, okay.  Well, that's not really what I had in mind, Sweetness, but you know best...

It is what it is.

So, hi there.  What can I say?  I’ve been busy.  I have two little ones, a husband, and two dogs.  I’m a busy woman.  It’s not that I don’t like you.  I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now, and I’m afraid I don’t have as much time as I used to…(did I mention I was busy?)

But then that’s not really it at all, is it?  Those are just weak excuses.  And I realize it now.  I have been procrastinating.  1950’s Housewife Day has me shaking in my all-too-comfortable tennis shoes.  Which I realize is ridiculous.  It’s 24 hours, for crying out loud.  And it’s not like it hasn’t been done before.  Women all over the internet have blogged about the silly fun they had as a 50’s housewife for a day.  But they are not me.

I’m not a girly girl.  I don’t “do” my hair in the morning.  I let it air-dry and I’m out the door.  If I do that.  Sometimes I just leave in the messy bun I put in so I wouldn’t get my hair wet in the shower.  I don’t wear skirts or dresses – why would I, when there are shorts and tee-shirts?  I wear jeans to work and dinner.  I use the same purse/shoes until they fall apart and I have to buy new ones.  I can't remember the last time I painted my fingernails.  Yep, sexy – I know.  So becoming the ultimate female icon for a day seems daunting, to say the least…

That being said, I would also like to say, I would like to formally announce that Monday, May 2nd will be…(trumpets, please!) 1950’s Housewife Day!!  Prepare yourself.  And send me all the suggestions, tips, and guidelines you have in the meantime…yikes…

Last thought, do I really want to broadcast this fairly embarrassing info about myself on the internet??  
And…save.